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Finding God in your Tough Moments

How do you handle things when they don’t go your way? Do you talk to God?

Do you ever ask yourself, “God what did I do wrong to make you punish me like this?’

Through out my life things have happened that I was defiantly not thrilled about. The old saying comes to mind, “you win some, you lose some.”

During my path of growth and faith maturity, I have learned a couple of things, 1. things happen and there is nothing you can do about it. 2. It all depends on how you see the situation.

The definition of turmoil: a state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty.

I know a lot of times I used to get mad when things happened that disrupted my life. I would automatically blame God when things went south. I would even question his very existence.

I’m telling y’all, the devil has a field day with my thoughts.

But the truth is, it’s our own feelings and actions that cause us to think this way. If we are thinking of he bad all the time, how can we see the good.

When something doesn’t go your way, how do you react? Think of the last time you experienced something that was wrong or it changed your day completely. Did you say “God why me?” or did you say, ” God, what is the lesson you are trying to teach me?”

I used to always ask “God, why me?”

Failed relationship, “God why me?”

You know I am broke, how am I going to pay this bill? “God, why me?”

I have to work longer hours, and I want to go out, “God, why me?”

When in reality, this is what should have been my thought process.

Failed relationship – God was protecting me from a person who wasn’t meant for me

No money – God, I promoted you to a higher paying position

You know I am broke – God, how are you handling your money? How can I bless you with more if you are not being careful with what I have blessed you with.

I have to work longer hours – God, you were complaining about money and now I have made an opportunity for you to make more money.

It really is all about how you see the situation.

It is always easier to see the bad in a situation, however we have to train our brains to look for the good in every situation. Look for the blessing over the burden.

God will bless you in his timing, not yours. You are here to serve God not the other way around, We put our focus on way too much of the worldly things, rather than focusing on what God wants for us.

Take a few minutes today and think on what has God saved you from. What happened? How did is play out? Did you notice the blessing in disguise?

Here is my testimony:

I was 20 and in love. Gosh, I thought I knew everything. I had a good job, a great guy, attending and very much involved with my church. I made a few doctors visits and was told having kids maybe difficult for me. I don’t even remember if PCOS was a thing then. At the age of 21, I found out that I would be having a baby and couldn’t have been happier. On 12/09/02, at the age of 22, we welcomed our son into the world. I had a c-section and I remember telling my then husband, don’t let him leave your sight. I was already being over protective, but hey that’s what moms do. A year went by and well, life changed. Before I knew it, I was divorced by 26. Oh man did I blame so much on God. How and why could this be? Around the age of 24 when we separated, I began talking to someone instead of focusing on what I needed to be focusing on, and that was my family. Once everything was done, I began life as a single mom trying to make things work. I wouldn’t say dark days, however some of those days weren’t the best at all. Some days were worse than others, but I will say this, the one thing I do remember was that I only spoke to God when I absolutely needed or wanted something or it was to blame him for the life I was not happy with. Finally at the age of 35, I decided to put God before everything. My decisions, my life, before I even spoke, I talked to God and you know what, things still went wrong. However, the way I viewed life with God on my side was different, how I looked at the situation and reacted was different. My friends changed, some people are still here others are gone. The guy I thought I couldn’t be without, and who was completely wrong and toxic for me, was gone. Don’t get me wrong, he was a good person, he just wasn’t good for me. Little did I know the biggest test of my life would be on March 13th, 2017. On this day, which is also my dad’s birthday, I would be terminated from my job. Still a single mom running on Jesus and Coffee, I was unemployed. Talking to my son about it was one of the hardest things I think I have had to do. To reassure him we would be ok and there wasn’t a need to worry. After about 30 days, I knew my life as a dispatcher was over and it was time to retire. Listening to others issues and problems for 18 years was long enough. I do applaud all the ladies and gents who are still able to continue to work as a 911 dispatcher. You are the real silent heroes and I will forever back the thin gold line. So, the job searching began and disappointment followed, but I stayed praying to God. Cutting back and not spending money like you usually can is harder than you think. Not having a job is a humbling experience. On August 21st, 2017, I started the next chapter of my life and started my first day at my new job. Not only that, it was everything that I had been praying for. No more working holidays, working shift work, and if I do have to work a holiday or weekend, it’s from home and I can be around my family. Being terminated was a blessing in disguise, I would have never left with out being pushed out the door. God knew that too. He knew how passionate I was with helping others. 911 was my life, and I was hurt, I was mad, and I needed answers. When all was said and done, only God knows the plans for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11) Although I wasn’t where I wanted to be financially, I was going to make it. I made it through training, and with all my years of supervising at my previous job, I was promoted to a supervisor within a year. Please understand, when God has yourbest intentions, he makes sure to put you at levels where you belong and absolutely nothing can stand in the way of the blessings God has for you. Even with all these blessings, do y’all know I still had the audacity to ask “where’s my Boaz?” However when it did come to finding a person who is for me, I seriously thought my bad decisions from my past was why I was still single and it was haunting me. I will share something else with y’all, when I was married, I would always say that I wanted a house full of boys, and after being blessed with my first son, I wasn’t able to get pregnant again. Now I spoke this to God back in 2002. Today, guess what, I am engaged and I have a house of 4 young men and a dog named Reggie. God knew having boys at that time was not in my best interest and look now almost 16 years later, prayers answered.

The reason I am sharing my story is to show you God always has your best interests. Everything happens for a reason and in its own timing. Just because things aren’t going the you think they should, does not mean they won’t happen. Don’t block your blessings thinking negatively.

Remember, it’s a bad day, hour or week but it’s not a bad life.

Don’t lose sight of your blessings looking at what went wrong. Focus on the blessing and don’t allow the burdens to overcome you.

God loves you.

Blessings.

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DON’T GIVE UP

When I first started blogging, I remember thinking how much I would help others by putting my writings out for the world to read. I remember thinking how I would start small and then grow as a writer.

Currently I am trying to get that passion back for writing and blogging.

The other day and I was in traffic, I was listening to The Breakfast Club on 93.7. There is a female radio host by the name of Angela Yee and she really spoke to me. She has a segment called “Ask Yee” and this guy questioned how she found her niche.

Angela said, ” you can’t stop when something doesn’t work out the way you want it. You have to put in the work even if you are not making money.”

After hearing her words I began to think how I haven’t been writing as much as I used to. I kept the excuse of “I will do it later” and sadly later never came. I even told my boyfriend, you haven’t been asking me about my blog. You know, trying to blame others for my own actions.

Well, finally never has come. I am writing today to get you through that funk too.

You are reading this for a reason!!

What ever you are doing, you have come across this post for a reason and I am here to tell you, don’t give up! Keep going! Keep pushing! Keep praying!

Being stuck is normal. Getting cloud brain is normal. Losing drive is normal. Just don’t stay there. Don’t stay in that mindset. Don’t let that take over the real reason you started!

Your thoughts direct you where and how to do something. You have a choice to do it with a smile, or be grumpy about it. Don’t choose the grumpy. lol

Stay the course and keep moving forward. Your break through is right around the corner.

DON’T GIVE UP!

More posts to come 🙂

5 Reasons to set Goals for 2019

If you know me, you know that I am a planner. I plan for everything. I am also a very scheduled person as well. So I try to stick with it all.

I have spreadsheets for my budget. I set money aside for things, I have an emergency savings. I even have a budget of where I should be saving.

From groceries to school supplies to big purchases to gas, I plan and budget.

My budget is what keeps my family organized. I went from a single mom of 1 son and a dog to in a relationship with a boyfriend and 3 more sons. That’s right, family of 6 with a pup. We need to plan and budget.

My budget is so extreme my oldest son has this joke about when he wants something that cost a little more he says “Mom, put it on the budget.” LOL

Oh the possibilities!

With 2019 right around the corner, I have already started planning my new year. I set goals for myself and I do my best to crush them.

Reasons you should be setting goals for 2019

1. Goals help you stay on track.

When setting goals for yourself make them realistic. If your goal is outrageous you won’t be able to accomplish it. If there is no drive to do it then you won’t get it done.

I can hear you say “Crystal, I set goals to challenge myself and push myself.” That’s true but if your goal isn’t realistic you’ll get bored and then the goal will be a memory. You want goals that are a little far away but close.

2. Know your goals have a plan of action

Sit down with yourself and really think about what you would like to accomplish in 2019.

Not a New Year, New You but more of what do I want for myself, what do I want to accomplish. Create a vision board for yourself. Keep your eye on the prize!

When you have your goals in front of you, you are less likely to forget why you are working so hard.

Keep track of where you are with your goals. (Next post I will share how I do these things myself) One of my goals for 2019 is to lose 40lbs. I have a notebook to track my progress.

You don’t want to get discouraged and throw the whole goal away.

3. Accountability

When you set your goals, this means you’re holding yourself accountable. You have this in line with your life and you are going for it.

Remember a little progress everyday will eventually get you to that goal. Progress not perfection.

4. Feeling of Accomplishment

When I crush my goals, I really like looking back at where I was, how far I have come and the joy of accomplishing it. I create my own happiness by minding my business and accomplishing my goals.

I can tell you from experiencing I have never accomplished a goal by minding someone else’s business. You lose focus that way.

You are your only comparison so there is not a need to not mind your own business.

5. Preparing helps in the long run

Have you ever done something at the last minute? How did that turn out? I plan so I can enjoy. I plan vacations ahead of time, I plan for our date nights, I plan when I shop. This helps me stay in alignment with my goals. When preparing you set the tone for what you want.

Book that trip, set your goal and plan for it. Have that wedding, move to that city, buy what you want.

All these things are very attainable and you can have them. You just have to set goals to get there and a plan a long the way.

No, I am not a boring person and yes, at first it’s hard. You have to train your brain and this does impact the lives of others around you. Not in bad way but if the people in your life aren’t encouraging you or trying to help you, this could be difficult.

Remember this is your vision, not theirs. People only see at their level not yours. This is for you, not them.

Pray about your goals

You know before I start anything I pray about it. I ask God to help me with clarity. It took me a while to get everything together but I never prayed about it, I just did.

Without prayer and direction from God, you could be spinning your wheels and going absolutely no where.

So remember to talk to God about your goals. Make sure those prayers are in aligned with your goals and ask God for his continued guidance a long the way.

2019 is your year to shine!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~Blessings

Pray

At night when you can’t sleep… pray

When you’re tired … pray

When you’re sad … pray

When you’re poor … pray

If you’ve had a bad day … pray

When you’re happy … pray

When you’re on top of the world … pray

When you have it all … pray

Always pray for others.

10 Years

Roshambo Saves Lives

What if you only had ten years left to live? Or three? Would you change how you are living—who you spend your time with? Would you take the time to hang out with your friends over a cup of coffee and some pie? Maybe carve more time out to hang out at your niece’s piano recital? Sit next to your dad while he watches his favorite television show?

God doesn’t give us any warning about our lives. No buzz shock before a broken heart. There are no flashing lights before our earthly bodies fail. So, are you doing what you want to be doing in life? Are you finding joy in the small things God plops into your lap?

crazy

Years ago, I went to my first writer’s conference. It was overwhelming and strange. One person alone gave me encouragement. And so I walked away. Fast forward twelve years, when I…

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Goals are meant to be Broken

September will be my month for sure!

Every month I set goals for myself, and I strive to break each and everyone of them. However there are times when things happen and I can’t. I never allow a goal I didn’t reach hold me back from breaking my other goals.

I usually write them out and leave it on my desk so there is a daily reminder for me.

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I look at them throughout the month to keep myself on track and it also helps me not lose focus on my goals.

Goals are a great way to keep yourself accountable for your work. I usually try to keep my goals at a reach so that I do not get discouraged.

If you set unrealistic goals you are more likely to just stop and not want to do it any longer.

I put my goals just far enough out of reach that I have to put work into them. If my goal is too easy, then it wouldn’t help me to keep pushing towards my ultimate goal.

These small goals are just the minimum, I am using these small goals to get me to the big goal.

YOU MUST START CELEBRATING SMALL WINS TO REACH BIG GOALS! 

Breaking goals is a passion for me. I have a very competitive spirit, I always have since I was younger. I have been working on my blogging and I am still having difficulty with it, but I am trying and that makes me feel great. It is a goal that I will attain and break through. Blogging is something I know I can conquer and overcome.IMG_1430

I know very well what I am capable of and I know that with hard work and dedication I will get there.

Comparing yourself to others is the absolute worse thing you could do to yourself.

I find myself at times envying those blogs that seem to have it all together, but they were once where I was and they overcame this so why can I? Why can’t you?

I have lots of ideas, but putting them on paper is another story.

For the month of September, I have decided to try something different. I am taking my goals with me. We will be on the move! I am very much into bullet journaling, so I have created a page just for my September Goals.

I have to stay the course and work towards what I need to. Distractions and set backs will not be in my future this month.

One of my goal is to grow my audience for this blog, so my focus right now is getting those to follow my social medias: facebookinstagram, and twitter. Please follow me and I will follow you back. Just mention that you read this blog.

My layout for my goals for September looks something like this:

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Having this baby in my hands for the month and looking at it every time I open my journal will keep me on track, and will definitely help with keeping my eyes on my goals.

I love organization and I love to know what exactly I need to do. This allows me to do both, look at what I need and work to get to where I need to be.

I have a few things going on this month but its not something I can’t do or handle. I also have a few more ideas for my journal but I will have to save them for next month, I don’t want to over do it and lose hope.

How do you track your goals? Do you reward yourself for crushing those goals?

I reward my small victories with an extra coffee, or a new pen. Those bigger goals I accomplish I may treat myself to an extra dessert or a new shirt. Depending on the accomplishment, that is how I reward myself.

This month I hope all you goal setters are breaking through and crushing them.

Reward yourself with a cup of coffee when you do. 🙂

~Blessings

 

The Spirit of the Fruit – Love

**This post may include affiliate links and I could possibly make some commission from a purchase. You are in no way obligated to buy anything.**

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such things there is no law – Galatians 22-23 

Love: noun – Seeks the highest good of others

Definition of love:

1. an intense feeling of deep affection

2. a person or thing that one loves

How hard is it to love someone? How hard is it to love someone who has been mean, rude or evil to us?

When I think of love,  a couple things come to mind; a feeling I have for someone special and my son.

Being a mom is super tough in this aspect. I have to be strong for my son and be the example. Although at times, my example is not reflecting God.

The way God loves us doesn’t seem to cross my mind either. It is more of a rage and hurt feeling. I know I have to be the example for him however it would be much easier just to be mean or rude right back.

WWJD? Right?

I have been studying Love – Nine Fruits of the Spirit and this has really helped me with the aspect of loving like Jesus. There are people who can be rude or unbearable at times, however we have the choice on how to react to this.

I have learned to love like Jesus and this puts in much better mood, and it also does not give the other person power over my feelings and over the way I handle the situation.IMG_1276

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

When I think of how God has loved me at my most difficult times, why can I not return the favor? Why is it so difficult to this simple action? LOVE!

Booker T. Washington said, ” I will not permit any man to diminish my soul to hatred.”

This touched my spirit is so many ways. I have been hurt and I have also hurt others. My life has changed in the worst way and it definitely has changed for the better. I have had my share of ups and downs as well. Everyday I thank God for showing me favor and giving me way more than I deserve.

“…let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18)

This Scripture really hits home with me when showing love and how I should be loving others. One of the absolute heaviest burden to bare is holding a grudge. You are not going to be able to have a happy and loving life if you are mad and upset. Life gives you difficult moments and also the best moments. Continue to love the way God has loved you.

If you are having a hard time forgiving someone ask God for help. Pray, “Lord, forgive me, I can not forgive.” Pray this often and watch God transform your life and soften you heart. Remember forgiving others is not for them, it is for you.

Love is an action directed to another person that is motivated by our relationship to Jesus Christ. Love is given freely without a personal reward in mind.

Love one another as Jesus loves you.

~Blessings.

 

 

Forgiving Yourself is OK!

Have you ever done something that you are still holding on to?

Do you keep replaying it over and over in your mind, and keep asking yourself why?

Why did I do that? or How could I have done that? fullsizeoutput_9be

My favorite one was, “I can not believe I did that.”

We are make mistakes. No one is perfect.

I have said and done some really mean and horrible things, but thank you Lord for helping me to change and to see things in a different light.

One of the best things about a mistake is that it helps you change and learn from it. Without mistakes, you wouldn’t know what works and what doesn’t. You wouldn’t see the growth in yourself without mistakes. Trial and error, you are learning constantly.

We grow as individuals from mistakes. The hardest part about a mistake is we tend to let them dwell and fester until it takes over our thought process and sits on our hearts. We have to teach our minds to think of a mistake as just that, a mistake, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on.

I  wonder why we forgive others so easily, but we don’t forgive ourselves as fast. It’s a mistake not a life sentence.

I didn’t always use to be a forgiver. I would hold grudges and quit speaking to people.  Then I realized something, I could have been hurting someone else by doing these things and also, I am taking away what God has for me. I’m going to miss my blessing focusing on hurt feelings and grudges.

I missed my best friend Misty’s wedding due to hurt feelings and holding a grudge. Thank you God we are still friends today. Throwing away 30 plus years of friendship would have been worse and I thank God everyday for her continued loyal friendship.

We tend to miss our blessings when we hold grudges. We are so focused on the grudge or trying to figure out how to get even, we can’t see what God has for us.

When we as humans operate on feelings, we tend to make it extremely worse than it actually is. When we put feelings in the way of the actual offense, we will think something and automatically think this is right, let me continue to act this way. I can not stress enough, we as humans can not operate on hurt feelings. IMG_1127

Forgiving someone can be a challenge, but remember that forgiveness is for you not for the other person. When we don’t forgive and keep holding on to the hurt, we are holding ourselves hostage to the pain and hurt and this is what holds back all your blessings and growth.

God wants to see you happy and living life to the fullest, not hurt or upset or dwelling on grudges.

We have to train our minds that a mistake is not a prison sentence. We are to learn from them and move on. If we hurt someone, apologize and move forward. You can not change the past, but you can learn from it an grow.

Forgiving yourself and others is also part of self care. Forgiving breaks any negative thoughts you may have or negative feelings you may be holding onto.

REMEMBER, A NEGATIVE MIND WILL NOT PRODUCE A POSITIVE LIFE! 

I encourage everyone to commit 14 days to forgiveness. Whether is be forgiving yourself or forgiving someone else. Read the Bible and find 14 scriptures on forgiveness and study each one daily. Keep a daily journal of your progress and see how much your life and attitude changes when you truly forgive yourself and others and move on to the life God has for you.

Blessings.

Prepping for the Week

**This post may include affiliate links and I could possibly make some commission from a purchase. You are in no way obligated to buy anything.**

How do you get ready for your week? Do you dread it? Do you look forward to it?

What’s your Sunday routine?

Over the last few months I have been focused on a routine. Every morning I would wake up, thank God for another day, read a bible devotion and get moving. However I would find myself out of whack in the middle of the week because I now have other things that have been added to my week, and I would forget what I have been planning for at the beginning of the week.

I have goals for the day, the week, and the month.

I am constantly focused on family, work and my blog. Oh I forgot, I am also going to be training for a half marathon, along with meal prepping and workout planning.

Trying to find a routine to fit all this in has been TOUGH!

However, after constant prayer about this and asking God, “what should I do?” I finally have an answer.

GIVE UP!

Nope just joking, lol!

I have been writing down everything, and I mean everything. I have a calendar that on my desk with the weekly to do’s, as well as my work calendar with things that have to be done. (for work only)  I also keep my goals in front of me. Yes, I keep a list of my GOALS on my desk so that I can see them. I will tell you, I have not been writing my goals down like I used to, however I am back and will be doing a lot of goal accomplishing.

(I will be sharing my goals on my IG account @jesus_and_coffee_so please follow. I love being held accountable, and what better people to keep you accountable are you social media friends and family. You follow and I will follow back)

When setting goals for the week, I look at what I wanting to accomplish. If it’s more followers, I want more traffic to my blog, if I am wanting to lose weight,inches, etc., how many bible scriptures to read and memorize. Whatever it is, put a number to it, post it and check in every other day to see how close you are to your weekly goals. Doesn’t matter the accomplishment, an accomplishment is an accomplishment, big or small. Remember small accomplishments turn into big accomplishments!

So here goes an example of how I plan for my week:

Sunday: Set my goals for the week, meal prep (just added this due to my half marathon training, plus I need to drop some weight too), I plan what I will be making for dinner each day, workout schedule, reading schedule, blog schedule, social media interaction schedule

Monday: bible study, workout, post to social medias, send out an old blog post, IMG_0881

Tuesday: bible study, workout, social media interaction, start new blog post, Inbox Surveys

Wednesday: bible study, social media exchange and interaction, post a blog, promote blog post

Thursday: bible study, workout, post on social media, promote blog post, Inbox surveys

Friday: bible study, workout, WordPress interaction, (follow my blog and I will follow back) promote blog post, send out an older blog post

Saturday: bible study, read other blogs, share other blogs

Now this schedule is a rough draft, I have to take into consideration the time I spend on each tasks as well. For instance, my bible study is usually 30 minutes. I also work 8am to 5pm Monday – Friday, so time is very important and staying in those time frame parameters I have set for myself. I have a significant other  who has 3 sons, I myself have a son, so I have to make sure I keep my time frames in order to complete a lot of these tasks and still have time for my family. Family is so important to me.

Although this list may seem exhausting, notice I didn’t put clean or cook or run errands, yep I do all those things too, however this is the reason why it is so important I stick to my time frames. I will also add, I do have help with everyday chores. My boyfriend and son are both amazing helpers.

Below is a list of the materials I use to keep me in order, (I love amazon, it always has my stuff at the best price, oh and I coupon too and I use Ibotta – get $10 back when you down load and purchase your first item. Just click the link, we all love free money)

fullsizeoutput_967I have a weekly calendar I use at the beginning of the week to keep my ideas in order. I use a monthly calendar to look at the month at a glance so that I can see exactly where I am with my assignments, when future dates need my attention or just what I have coming up. I use the monthly calendar also to plan ahead when needed. I love mechanical pencils just because I don’t have a sharpener on hand, but I can just throw it away once I am done. I like pencils also to erase, things change and erasing is always a must. I use highlighters to highlight the important days and also if something needs to be addressed or if I have forgotten something. Highlighters help to make things bold. These supplies will cost you less than $30.00 and they will help with keeping your busy life in order. If calendars aren’t your thing, keep a daily journal  with your daily activities and check them off once you have them done.

This routine may seem like a lot, however once you get the times set in place for each task, and stick to them, it will be a breeze to follow and this will help with your everyday life. Find a schedule that fits your goals and crush them!

Please tag me in all your goal posts, I would love to see your accomplishments too.

GOALS! GOALS! GOALS!

Blessings to all.

Go to Your Room

As a child, we were punished and sent to our room, and don’t come out until you’re told to.

Now that I am older, I realized that maybe going to my room isn’t a bad thing at all.

When I “go to my room” it’s to spend time with the Lord. I use the alone time to get back in communication with God and to recharge my spirit.

The world has so many ups and downs. Life pulls us in all directions. From family to work to friends, financial problems and maybe bad relationships, spending alone time in your rom with God can make all the difference.

I am currently working on a bible study to share with the world and I use this time to get my thoughts together. I need direction, and who better to go to than to God.

I think the alone time you spend with God makes life a lot easier to deal with. Having God constantly on your side makes life easier.

Life is hard, but with God you’re never alone and you don’t have to go through life alone.

Try it, take time out each day to “go to your room” and read God’s word. It will refresh and renew your mind.

Blessings.