Forgiving Yourself is OK!

Have you ever done something that you are still holding on to?

Do you keep replaying it over and over in your mind, and keep asking yourself why?

Why did I do that? or How could I have done that? fullsizeoutput_9be

My favorite one was, “I can not believe I did that.”

We are make mistakes. No one is perfect.

I have said and done some really mean and horrible things, but thank you Lord for helping me to change and to see things in a different light.

One of the best things about a mistake is that it helps you change and learn from it. Without mistakes, you wouldn’t know what works and what doesn’t. You wouldn’t see the growth in yourself without mistakes. Trial and error, you are learning constantly.

We grow as individuals from mistakes. The hardest part about a mistake is we tend to let them dwell and fester until it takes over our thought process and sits on our hearts. We have to teach our minds to think of a mistake as just that, a mistake, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on.

I  wonder why we forgive others so easily, but we don’t forgive ourselves as fast. It’s a mistake not a life sentence.

I didn’t always use to be a forgiver. I would hold grudges and quit speaking to people.  Then I realized something, I could have been hurting someone else by doing these things and also, I am taking away what God has for me. I’m going to miss my blessing focusing on hurt feelings and grudges.

I missed my best friend Misty’s wedding due to hurt feelings and holding a grudge. Thank you God we are still friends today. Throwing away 30 plus years of friendship would have been worse and I thank God everyday for her continued loyal friendship.

We tend to miss our blessings when we hold grudges. We are so focused on the grudge or trying to figure out how to get even, we can’t see what God has for us.

When we as humans operate on feelings, we tend to make it extremely worse than it actually is. When we put feelings in the way of the actual offense, we will think something and automatically think this is right, let me continue to act this way. I can not stress enough, we as humans can not operate on hurt feelings. IMG_1127

Forgiving someone can be a challenge, but remember that forgiveness is for you not for the other person. When we don’t forgive and keep holding on to the hurt, we are holding ourselves hostage to the pain and hurt and this is what holds back all your blessings and growth.

God wants to see you happy and living life to the fullest, not hurt or upset or dwelling on grudges.

We have to train our minds that a mistake is not a prison sentence. We are to learn from them and move on. If we hurt someone, apologize and move forward. You can not change the past, but you can learn from it an grow.

Forgiving yourself and others is also part of self care. Forgiving breaks any negative thoughts you may have or negative feelings you may be holding onto.

REMEMBER, A NEGATIVE MIND WILL NOT PRODUCE A POSITIVE LIFE! 

I encourage everyone to commit 14 days to forgiveness. Whether is be forgiving yourself or forgiving someone else. Read the Bible and find 14 scriptures on forgiveness and study each one daily. Keep a daily journal of your progress and see how much your life and attitude changes when you truly forgive yourself and others and move on to the life God has for you.

Blessings.

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Prepping for the Week

**This post may include affiliate links and I could possibly make some commission from a purchase. You are in no way obligated to buy anything.**

How do you get ready for your week? Do you dread it? Do you look forward to it?

What’s your Sunday routine?

Over the last few months I have been focused on a routine. Every morning I would wake up, thank God for another day, read a bible devotion and get moving. However I would find myself out of whack in the middle of the week because I now have other things that have been added to my week, and I would forget what I have been planning for at the beginning of the week.

I have goals for the day, the week, and the month.

I am constantly focused on family, work and my blog. Oh I forgot, I am also going to be training for a half marathon, along with meal prepping and workout planning.

Trying to find a routine to fit all this in has been TOUGH!

However, after constant prayer about this and asking God, “what should I do?” I finally have an answer.

GIVE UP!

Nope just joking, lol!

I have been writing down everything, and I mean everything. I have a calendar that on my desk with the weekly to do’s, as well as my work calendar with things that have to be done. (for work only)  I also keep my goals in front of me. Yes, I keep a list of my GOALS on my desk so that I can see them. I will tell you, I have not been writing my goals down like I used to, however I am back and will be doing a lot of goal accomplishing.

(I will be sharing my goals on my IG account @jesus_and_coffee_so please follow. I love being held accountable, and what better people to keep you accountable are you social media friends and family. You follow and I will follow back)

When setting goals for the week, I look at what I wanting to accomplish. If it’s more followers, I want more traffic to my blog, if I am wanting to lose weight,inches, etc., how many bible scriptures to read and memorize. Whatever it is, put a number to it, post it and check in every other day to see how close you are to your weekly goals. Doesn’t matter the accomplishment, an accomplishment is an accomplishment, big or small. Remember small accomplishments turn into big accomplishments!

So here goes an example of how I plan for my week:

Sunday: Set my goals for the week, meal prep (just added this due to my half marathon training, plus I need to drop some weight too), I plan what I will be making for dinner each day, workout schedule, reading schedule, blog schedule, social media interaction schedule

Monday: bible study, workout, post to social medias, send out an old blog post, IMG_0881

Tuesday: bible study, workout, social media interaction, start new blog post, Inbox Surveys

Wednesday: bible study, social media exchange and interaction, post a blog, promote blog post

Thursday: bible study, workout, post on social media, promote blog post, Inbox surveys

Friday: bible study, workout, WordPress interaction, (follow my blog and I will follow back) promote blog post, send out an older blog post

Saturday: bible study, read other blogs, share other blogs

Now this schedule is a rough draft, I have to take into consideration the time I spend on each tasks as well. For instance, my bible study is usually 30 minutes. I also work 8am to 5pm Monday – Friday, so time is very important and staying in those time frame parameters I have set for myself. I have a significant other  who has 3 sons, I myself have a son, so I have to make sure I keep my time frames in order to complete a lot of these tasks and still have time for my family. Family is so important to me.

Although this list may seem exhausting, notice I didn’t put clean or cook or run errands, yep I do all those things too, however this is the reason why it is so important I stick to my time frames. I will also add, I do have help with everyday chores. My boyfriend and son are both amazing helpers.

Below is a list of the materials I use to keep me in order, (I love amazon, it always has my stuff at the best price, oh and I coupon too and I use Ibotta – get $10 back when you down load and purchase your first item. Just click the link, we all love free money)

fullsizeoutput_967I have a weekly calendar I use at the beginning of the week to keep my ideas in order. I use a monthly calendar to look at the month at a glance so that I can see exactly where I am with my assignments, when future dates need my attention or just what I have coming up. I use the monthly calendar also to plan ahead when needed. I love mechanical pencils just because I don’t have a sharpener on hand, but I can just throw it away once I am done. I like pencils also to erase, things change and erasing is always a must. I use highlighters to highlight the important days and also if something needs to be addressed or if I have forgotten something. Highlighters help to make things bold. These supplies will cost you less than $30.00 and they will help with keeping your busy life in order. If calendars aren’t your thing, keep a daily journal  with your daily activities and check them off once you have them done.

This routine may seem like a lot, however once you get the times set in place for each task, and stick to them, it will be a breeze to follow and this will help with your everyday life. Find a schedule that fits your goals and crush them!

Please tag me in all your goal posts, I would love to see your accomplishments too.

GOALS! GOALS! GOALS!

Blessings to all.

Go to Your Room

As a child, we were punished and sent to our room, and don’t come out until you’re told to.

Now that I am older, I realized that maybe going to my room isn’t a bad thing at all.

When I “go to my room” it’s to spend time with the Lord. I use the alone time to get back in communication with God and to recharge my spirit.

The world has so many ups and downs. Life pulls us in all directions. From family to work to friends, financial problems and maybe bad relationships, spending alone time in your rom with God can make all the difference.

I am currently working on a bible study to share with the world and I use this time to get my thoughts together. I need direction, and who better to go to than to God.

I think the alone time you spend with God makes life a lot easier to deal with. Having God constantly on your side makes life easier.

Life is hard, but with God you’re never alone and you don’t have to go through life alone.

Try it, take time out each day to “go to your room” and read God’s word. It will refresh and renew your mind.

Blessings.

Morning Coffee

Every morning I wake up, I have a routine that I follow:

  • Thank God for waking me – it’s always a blessing
  • Of course stretch, who doesn’t
  • Bathroom
  • Make coffee

As I sit here writing, I can smell my coffee being brewed. That has to be one of the most amazing smells in the morning. Well, right until my son decides to put on every last drop of his cologne. LOL

The first sip of coffee instantly puts me in a fantastic mood. Coffee and French Vanilla.

As I am drinking my coffee, I open my morning devotional, Starting Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer. I absolutely love this devotional, it sets the tone for the entire day. I believe your first thoughts of the day will determine how you will spend your day. I spend my first thoughts with my coffee and Jesus. fullsizeoutput_80f

As I read today’s entry, I can’t help but think how truly blessed I am to have this life. How although things were hard at one point, I did make it and kept going.

I tend to think clearer and I focus on what God has blessed me with, rather than what I don’t have or what I wished I had. I try to leave no room for negativity.

During my morning coffee, I also reflect on what I need to be doing rather than what I have failed to not complete. You see I am a huge planner, I have to have things in order and know what my goals are. I keep those goals posted so that I can continue to focus and remember why I do what I do each day.

Everything isn’t always easy and you have to make time for what you want and work hard for it as well.

My morning coffee is a constant reminder that God allowed me to wake up in the morning, so he has a purpose for me.

Blessings!

You are enough…

You are enough! Tell yourself that daily. Look in the mirror and say that 3 times.

Too often we get lost on what the world wants for us and lose sight of what God wants for us.

We try to find outlets in food, sex, money or even alcohol. Those things are truly only temporary and bring you false hope or give you a moment of satisfaction.

God wants the best for you and he wants you to know him and know how much he loves you.

I dreaded sharing my story for fear of what others thought. I know my life decisions have not been the best, I use to use the excuse of well God will forgive me so why not? Yeah I know, pretty crazy right?? IMG_0437

The truth is, your past does not define you as the person you are today. NO decision you have made before this moment matters. You have the choice to change everything you were used to doing. You can say right now, my past is over and I choose to live life with a different outlook.

I have learned a few things along the way of making my mistakes:

  • there will never be another you
  • you are different; thats perfectly fine
  • only you can offer what you have
  • you do matter no matter what someone else thinks of you
  • time heals only if you decide not to dwell in your past
  • WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES
  • learn from what you’ve done
  • never allow your emotions to cloud your judgement

Tell yourself today that you are no longer the person you were and you will step into today with a positive mind set, focusing on your blessings and giving no attention to the negativity. Tell yourself you are more than enough and can conquer anything with God right there with you.

I encourage everyone to share their story, someone needs to hear it.

Blessings.

My Jar of Blessings

For the last few years, I have made a jar of blessings. This jar is very special to me, because it helps me recognize my blessings.

Not just any blessings, the blessings of that day.

Good times and bad, I date them and put them in my jar. Through out the year, I can go back and reflect on these thoughts and then remember how good my life is and how blessed I am. As I have always said, positive or negative, blessings over burdens.

I also use this to reflect on how many times God has come through for me, when I have a hard time trying to figure things out. Trust in him!

Supplies Needed:

  1. a jar or box – I recommend you decorate the jar or box how you want it; something that will always catch your attention and remind you of your blessings IMG_2984
  2. pen and paper – use your favorite color pens, but black or blue work just as well, post-its work but I have a small pad I use to add my messages, something easy to tear away
  3. a positive outlook to recognize your blessings and more blessings

What I do is on the top of each paper, I will put the date and then write down the blessing for that day. I don’t do this everyday, but when something really stands out to me, believe me, I’m jotting it down.

For instance, my son and I go on vacation every June. When I get back, I always write a blessing and a thank you to God for allowing my son and me to travel and return safely.

I add the date, so that I keep in mind that on that date this great blessing happened. I will continue this because sometimes I do fall short, and I need a reminder of how great my life is, and what a blessing it is to be alive.

My first thank you to God looks like this:

  • Date: January 2, 2018
  • Traveling grace to and from Georgia for the New Year
  • allowing me to see 2018
  • family and friends

I sign all blessing with an “AMEN” and “THANK YOU”

Give it a try, if you don’t want to do the entire year, try it for 3 months. See how many blessings you recognize for yourself and family. At the end of the three months, read your blessings and see how much God has blessed you and you also recognize how much you have to be thankful for.

God bless!

 

Seeing the Best in Everything

Have you checked your attitude this morning?

My favorite one is, have you checked your face?

Those two questions are what I ask myself before walking out the door. Your attitude is determined by how you think and how the rest of your day will go. It’s the outlook on what your life represents.

I can fake my attitude however my face not so much.

I can sound like two totally different people, “nice Crystal” and “you get on my nerves Crystal” lol, but my facial expressions are so hard to hide. Im praying on it though.

In the past I have had the worst attitude about life. I hated how things would go my way or how things would turn out.

The truth is, it’s all about how you see life.

When you see something that you like, you are happy, enlightened, and you’re smiling, but if it doesn’t go your way, what is your reaction?

I call those unpleasant thoughts, venting, rants, negative comments….adult tantrums.

I have learned that adult tantrums absolutely help nothing. They actually make things worse and they block your blessings. I can remember not liking someones attitude and it completely gave me a not so pleasant attitude. How that person saw things instantly rubbed off on me and then my attitude continued to go down from there. I am not blaming that person, it was my fault, I let it happen. It was a choice I made.

Having your thoughts and attitude in check with God, not only helps you realize how blessed you are, it doesn’t allow the devil to come in and take over. Focus on GOD.

Remember these couple things:

  1. Focus on your blessings. It may not be in the package you wanted it in, however the blessings is still there and you should embrace every blessing God gives you.
  2. Continue to pray continuously about your short comings. What better person to talk to than God. He knows you, he created you and he doesn’t make mistakes. Know that he loves you and want the absolute best for you.

I use to find it very hard to see my blessings and to be happy with whatever situation I was in. I couldn’t understand it then but I sure do now. I look back not to look at my faults, but to look how far God has brought me.

He knows we make mistakes, he knows we are not perfect, he knows we need him, but we have to trust him completely with whatever season we are in. The good, bad and the ugly.

As you go on with your day, try to pay attention to your attitude but also focus on your blessings. Don’t allow a bad situation to ruin your positive, godly, attitude.

Blessings.

 

When God Says No

Too often when things don’t go our way, or we didn’t get something we think we deserved, we are quick to get upset and blame God.

We harp on the why nots and how come or how could he? The truth is that No that you received was actually a blessing.

We live in a world where everything is at our fingertips. With a touch of a button, you can turn on your car, post to thousands of people, fast gratification is what is in now.

In case you didn’t know, God doesn’t work like that. He never gives you anything before you are ready. When you ask God for something, are you actually ready to receive it?

Seriously, ask yourself:

I want a husband, are you ready to have a husband?

I want a new car, can you afford a new car?

I want a baby, are you ready to put yourself aside for your child?

I want a bigger house, are you taking care of the smaller house you’re in?

How come things can’t change, are you changing anything about your life to make this happen?

You see, when we ask God for things, are we really ready to receive them?

I came across a post on Facebook and it read, ” I wish God would sit down and just tell me what he wants me to do.” My response to that was, if he did, would you actually do it? Or since you know what he wants and will give you, will you continue to do your own thing?

When God would tell me no, I used to get so upset. So upset that it would steal my joy, my laughter, my outlook on the rest of my life. I actually would get mad at God. I look back now and think THANK YOU!! It was all immaturity.

I say that because if I had honestly gotten what I wanted then, I wouldn’t have even known what to do with it. If he had given me that boyfriend, that job, that extra car I thought I wanted, I’d be sad with a low income and an extra payment thinking to myself, how did I get here. Seriously, I asked for it.

Remember God does things in his timing, not ours. HE works on his time table. When HE feels you are ready, you will receive it, and not a moment sooner.

So until he is ready for you to have what you think you want, enjoy your singleness, enjoy your marriage, enjoy what you have going on right now. Enjoy your friendships, your free time. Those things are really a blessing. To be able to look at life on the more positive I haves instead of the negative I don’t have, that’s a real blessing.

Enjoy your moment now, and ask God what can you do for him, life will change and only for the better.

Be blessed.

5 Must to do’s to Start My Day

Good morning,

This morning I thought I’d share the 5 things I do to start my day. The day starts when you open your eyes and you start to think, so here is what I do to get my day going and get the positive juices flowing.

  1. Start with a thank you. I thank God every morning for waking me up. I know that seems like a given, but God allows you to wake up so why not thank him for it. I used to not do this, but when I began to realize how much I need God in my life, saying Thank You is the least I could do each morning.
  2. Ask God what he wants you to do today. I ask God what will you have me do? Or God, what or who can I help today? I do that so that I keep my eyes open to the things going on around me. I believe God gives you opportunities to help someone everyday. He assigns people to come through our life each day to help and I don’t want to miss that moment.
  3. Read my morning devotion. I am a big reader, so I read a morning devotion to get my day started. Plus I also have a few apps that I use as well to get the daily devotions sent to me.
  4. Make your bed. I make my bed because I don’t like coming home from  work and it’s a mess. If I don’t make the bed, it feels like I don’t have enough time in my day. Crazy right, but I hate coming home and its not done. My son always ask why, because its not like you’re not going to mess it up again. I like order and this helps with that.
  5. Pray before walking out the door. I pray for my son before he leaves for school and I pray for myself and my day. I ask God to watch my steps and my mouth. I pray for clarity, judgement, my thinking and my work.

You notice I didn’t add coffee, well that always a must and I really enjoy a cup or two every morning.

Hope you have a wonderful day.

Blessings.

37 for my 37th-Birthday Life Lessons

Today, I can’t thank God enough for blessing me with 37 years of life. I look back at how far I have come and I am really excited about what I have coming in the next year.

As I turn another year older, I can only think of all the things that I have learned throughout the years. So, here are a few things I’d like to share that I have learned over the years:

  1. Be kind even when others aren’t.
  2. Everything doesn’t have to be talked about.
  3. Health is very important.
  4. Gossiping really does lead to trouble.
  5. Put NOTHING before God.
  6. God is a God of second, third, fourth chances.
  7. Family keeps you strong.
  8. True best friends are hard to find.
  9. This is never the end.
  10. God uses everyone, know matter who you are.
  11. Circumstances don’t last forever.
  12. Help without expectation of something in return.
  13. Prayer works.
  14. Talk to God throughout your day.
  15. Spend time alone…like really alone.
  16. Travel more.
  17. Keep a prayer journal.
  18. Read the Bible everyday.
  19. “No’s” are answered prayer too.
  20. Save money.
  21. Watch your words.
  22. Control your thoughts.
  23. Everything always works out.
  24. Books help your mind grow.
  25. Taking chances help expand your limits.
  26. Being afraid is ok.
  27. Positive thinking overcomes negative thoughts 
  28. Being YOU is very much ok.
  29. It’s ok to say no.
  30. Ask God every morning “what should I do for you today God?”
  31. Forgive yourself and others.
  32. It does not matter what other people think.
  33. Give back more.
  34. Don’t waste too much time with negative people.
  35. Worry less.
  36. Trust your gut.
  37. When life knocks you down, get back up and go harder.

This past year has been one that I will definitely remember. It has thrown me for a loop and a lot of unexpected things have happened. BUT GOD! 

I know that there will be more difficulties ahead, but its all about how to react to them. With God, I can do anything and I know he will be right there with me for the next 37 years.

I count my blessings not my burdens. I look at what I have, not what I have not. I have stopped comparing what I have with what someone else has. Plus it’s a waste of time.

Everything has a season in your life, and although you may feel like this isn’t your season in life, believe that there is a reason you are going through certain things in life and know that you will overcome anything that you maybe going through.

My birthday wish is that whomever is reading this is blessed tremendously. Know that God is right there with you and you can do anything through Christ.

Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they path.

This is the bible scripture I have meditated on daily, sometimes several times a day. It has helped me realize so much about my self and my relationship with God. He knows that I am not perfect, and he continues to forgive me, even when it’s hard for me to forgive myself.

Life is a blessing!